BYOB: Beat Your Own Blues


Majority of the global population will experience a day where they don’t want to get out of bed, don’t want to go to work, don’t want to socialise, dwell on their past…just generally have a really bad day. Sometimes this can be due to the stresses and strains of every day modern life and sometimes it can be for no reason at all, unfortunately, it’s all a part of being human.

I am an unbelievably anxious person.

I’ve tried medications and therapy but unfortunately these didn’t work out.

Although I still have days where I struggle to stay motivated and think that I am no where near good enough to do something (i.e. run this blog), everything on the list below has helped me regain control of the negative thoughts that can easily take over one’s life. I firmly believe that the list below can change a persons life, if not, improve it a little.

Friendship

Luckily, I have fantastic friends and an amazing boyfriend that encourage me every day to be myself. Danielle calms me down when I’ve convinced myself that I have a dire illness, she gives me life advice pretty much every day and reminds me that we are beautiful, Richie puts up with me through thick and thin, Kim has always been supportive and only ever a phone call away and Jamie, my boyfriend, finally gave me the confidence and self esteem to be myself. He gives me honest opinions (he disliked that leopard print make-up) which I love, he calls me beautiful and encourages me to do the stuff I want, every day. He even reads this blog and provides feedback because he knows it helps me, even though he has never expressed an interest in beauty/lifestyle blogging. QT.


Jamie and I on Valentine’s


I meet Richie regularly for lunch

Being social, laughing, having honest opinions, having people there to help and support you, being in your comfort zone, having that loyalty and trust in someone and share the secrets that would otherwise eat at your conscience is essential for mental health, as well as unloading anxieties, they offer a fresh perspective. Making memories is an added bonus.
I don’t know how she puts up with me :’)

Cut Toxic People out of your Life

This one can be quite hard. I used to hang around with toxic people that my current friends still do. The key is to respect that friends may still be friends with people you cannot stand, if they bring them up in conversations, respectfully decline to talk about them. If said friend brings toxic person to a party, be civil or leave. Maturity is essential to keep things from blowing up in your face and making it worse. I bite my tongue with a lot of people and my closest friends know who I absolutely will never have in my life again. Saying that, if I have to share a night out or a party with them, I will have minimal civil conversation with them. Have clear friendship boundaries. Even if only you know them.

Purge your Belongings

The key to a healthy mind is a healthy space. I live in a family of hoarders, my Mother and Brother being the worst (he has five green crates stashed in my room!) Whenever I buy new clothes, I throw out/give to charity the same number of clothes that I do not wear, to keep the balance. Every time a charity bag comes to the door, I go through my wardrobe and drawers and throw away things that I do not like/wear. Purge make-up too. As well as keeping storage space, it’s essential to get rid of old make-up or risk infections etc off built up bacteria.

Purge Social Media

I’m thinking of creating a new Facebook. I have a URL that I can’t change that is linked to an ex, I can’t change my name if I ever get married or suddenly dislike this name because when I first got Facebook in secondary school, I thought it was cool to have all sorts of ridiculous names. The other thing is that every mistake I have ever made, every person (pretty much) that I have ever met, every relationship, friendship, stupid photo and other thing that I may or may not want to remember, is logged on a profile accessible to thousands. Although you can never fully delete something off the internet, you can take it away from immediate eyes. Sometimes, you need a break/fresh Social Media experience. If it links you to a past/people you don’t want to remember, do what you need to. If you like your Social Media then look through the friends list/following list. Negative thoughts and actions are contagious. 

Exercise

*Eye roll* I always feel so patronised when people tell me this. My boyfriend gave me one of his weights (at my request) and even now I get embarrassed when he brings it up. Not because he’s demeaning, he just likes to know if I’m using it, but because I’m not exactly a gym buff…and I love pizza. Every day I do some yoga and a few exercises using weights. I do just enough to break a sweat and get my heart pumping because I’m not doing it to shed calories (although I’m happy when I do), I do it for the natural high I feel after I’ve done it. When you exercise, your body releases endorphins. Endorphins trigger a positive feeling in the body, similar to eating a bar of chocolate or a shot of morphine.

Don’t Complain for 24 Hours/Compliment People

Negative memories and feelings impact you more than positive ones do. Once you start complaining, your mood will probably drop, your energy levels will dip and then you’ll find yourself in a negative cycle and bad mood. Try to not complain for 24 hours and you will find that your lifestyle has improved drastically. Also, compliment people, as well as feeling good about it, it may brighten their day. If I like someones dress, I tell them. If I buy something in a shop, I thank them and tell them to have a nice day. Manners cost nothing and they promote positive thoughts and attitudes.

Indulge/Treat yourself

There is no greater feeling to me than having my hair and nails freshly done, my eyebrows tamed and a few new items in the wardrobe. I always work on a budget but make sure I have the funds and time to take care of myself. It’s a bonus when other people tell me I look nice. Try a make-over. Completely change your fashion/make-up for a day or get a friend/boyfriend/girlfriend/parent/child to dress you. The results could be great and you could expand your wardrobe/make-up techniques or they could be hilarious and you could publish it on a blog or forum - just like this mum did :’)


I got this skirt for a pound.

Cuddle

One of my favourite activities with my boyfriend (apart from playing Rayman) is to cuddle. Cuddling is good for you because it releases oxytocin. Oxytocin is a chemical in the brain that creates a sense of well-being and happiness. Oxytocin is a ‘bonding’ hormone. Mothers release it during birth and partners release it during events like cuddling. Go and Google it. It’s so interesting what Oxytocin can do.


Fake Confidence

A part from my close friends and people I have told, no-one knows that I suffer from chronic anxiety. I struggle to go places alone and ‘wobble’ when I have to go to interviews or do something independently. When I have to and there is no escape, I take a moment and put on a ‘face.’ I act how I would if I was a naturally confident person. This makes me feel great because over the years I have gained confidence and some great relationships with professionals and peers because of it. People aren’t given power, you have to take it. Even Lady Gaga wears a mask.

Learn to Say No

I was raised to just ‘do it.’ Until recently I would do this even if I didn’t want to and then feel bad for the fact that I had done it. If you don’t want the job, don’t take it. If you don’t want to date that guy/gal/alien, don’t. As long as you are respectful, you have every right to say no when you don’t agree/don’t want to do something.

Make Art

You don’t have to be ‘good’ to create art. Write something down, start a blog/vlog, keep a journal/art journal, throw paint onto a canvas. Art is good for getting pent up anger/emotions out and you can create some pretty cool stuff.

Don’t be Afraid of the Doctor

If you think you have a problem, I’m a hypochondriac - I think I have every problem, then seek help. Don’t be embarrassed, Doctors/nurses/other medical professionals go through a billion years of training and you probably/most likely/are definitely not the first person they have seen with this problem.

Go Out in Nature

You cannot feel bad surrounded by nature. Go camping, go to the beach, go on a road trip, visit a farm, go swimming in a river, have a bbq in the middle of nowhere, play hide and seek in a forest. Breathe in the fresh air and lie in a field. You create amazing memories and will feel refreshed for days.

Candles

Have a spa day. One of my favourite activities is to have a hot bath, put on a face mask and light some candles. Think of nothing.


Do you have any tips on how you beat your own blues?

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