Growing Up: What I've Learnt About Moving Out of my Parents House - with a Dash of Anxiety.




I posted today about how excited I am to move out and that is still true. But I thought, whilst the feelings are still settling, I would post about what I have learnt so far about moving out....and I'm not even done yet. In fact, I am lying in my comfy double bed in my ... Parent's house I guess I should call it. 

1. Parents will still be there.


Of course I knew that moving out wasn't going to be all fun and games. Here's me thinking that I'm an independent woman living with three other grown men but I have learnt that you don't leave your parents behind, they are with you every step of the way (you know, because no matter how many arguments you have, they're still going to be there like good parents are) and in fact you adopt everyone else's parents, because you know, they're great parents too. 

2. So. Much. Money.


The deposit, security fee, referencing fee and first months rent go first. Then the internet, water, council tax, electricity and gas. Annnd then food, furniture, fridges, washing machines, cutlery, you name it...you will need it. I also found out today that £67.99 for a sofa bed is cheap. The fuck? 

3. Friendships


Woooo, I'm a tax paying adult with my own place, full time job, pension plan and I even have a somewhat long term (a year and a half is not a long time to me personally) boyfriend. Some friends just won't understand that you now have a whole other world of responsibilities to adhere to and you genuinely just need to lie down in a dark room and process all of this. And some will piss you off thinking it's easy as eating pie because their parents are paying for that pie, not them. 

It's at this time you will also realise which friends you can live without. If they make you feel bad about the decisions you're making as a fully grown adult then you can probably part ways. 

4. Parties


We're having a party on Friday to celebrate our new found independence. Of course I'm overjoyed that people want to come and see my new pad but here's how my anxiety ridden thought process works. 

"We have light beige carpets and someone will spill a drink"
"I am the idiot that will probably spill the drink"
"I'm going to argue with someone and it's going to ruin the whole thing"
"Half of my friends don't like the other half"
"What if someone brings a plus one"
"What if someone's parents show up?"
"What if my parents show up?"
"What if the landlord finds out?"
"What if the neighbours complain?"
"What if someone steals my stuff?"
"What if something gets broken?"
"The electric bill. The electric bill. The electric bill"

And a whole bunch of other shit on fucking repeat. I shouldn't care about this stuff. I'm 22, I work really bloody hard, deal with stuff every day way beyond my maturity level (I totally just quoted Juno) and I want to not care. I want to have a crazy party and a generally good time.

5. Job security and savings


I have savings and a job. Both of which could end/run out tomorrow. I have just commited to living independently for at least a year. No job is secure in this day and age and I need to live this year to the absolute fullest. If I end up jobless, broke and back at home next year then I want to be able to say I've lived it to the absolute fullest and had an amazing time learning for the next time I fly the nest.


6. Arguments/Debates/Respect 


I may not have time/want to make my bed before work one day. Someone else may not want to do the dishes. Someone may live on takeaways. Someone may have their partner their all the time. One may be an utter recluse. That's the way people are. Everyone earns their own money and is completely entitled to spend it how they wish and since they're paying the rent too, they are completely entitled to live how they want to, within boundaries of course but that's where the respect part comes in. Do your share of house work, don't play music loudly if you know someone's at work early/late and don't shag in other people's space. Pretty solid then. 

Although we've mostly agreed on stuff so far, who's bedroom is who's, where the furniture is going, who can leave their stuff in i.e. the bathroom, who is not allowed around the flat under any circumstances, what internet we're getting, when we do argue...which we will, only we can sit down and sort it out. 

7. Time


Between working, planning to move my things, clearing/cleaning my old bedroom, socialising, having meetings with the boys, blogging, talking to my parents because they totally don't believe that I'm moving out, budgeting, sleeping, eating, getting ready for work, talking to the landlord, sorting the flat, buying stuff for the flat and lying in a dark room; I have precisely 12 minutes spare at the end of each day. 

I also cannot have back to back commitments. At all. I get overwhelmed and shut down. Or cry. Either one isn't pretty. I actually dedicated a whole blog post to it here.

8. It's your business.


So many people have become involved. For the better and the worst but at the end of the day, X amount of people are paying the bills and it is their business. No one else's.

9. Priorities/Budgeting 


Do I have to explain this one? I'm not really sure I know how to. So yeah I now have priorities. I can no longer buy £20 foundation or my 6th red lipstick but I'm still probably going to. I am slowly learning how to prioritise my money. Direct Debits are a huge help. 

10. Stress


You will be stressed because Adulthood is just another word for Stress. I cannot deal with anyone else's stress because I am dealing with my own. Every day it takes me a lot of effort to deal with myself, my anxiety and trying to diminish it to live a happy life. If I take on any more I may explodeeeeeeeeee. 

This is a small list of what I have learnt so far. A massive part of my lifestyle blogging will be documenting me whilst I  (hopefully) evolve from an anxious caterpillar into a beautifully independent butterfly.

I'm scared, excited, nervous, on the defense and completely a control freak.

Wish me luck!

What was it like when you moved out for the first time? Share your fairy tales and horror stories with me! Have I missed anything off my list? Comment below! :D


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