"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down and look around once in a while, you might miss it"

I have come to a realisation in life, a lot later than everyone else that I know, which is fitting because  it's that I am a slow person. 

My friends and boyfriend are constantly telling me to hurry up and my job demands that I exceed targets in record timing. Games that I play, social media, TV, music....everything in life moves at light speeds but I don't understand why.

I suffer from anxiety and if I try and do things at the same speed as others, I freak out and get overwhelmed which, in turn, makes me slower.

We applied for a reference for a house and it'll take a few days but I was sat yesterday messaging everyone to get everything done, talking to the landlord, cancelling other viewings, signing off estate agents and I'd just finished work. Jamie and the boys are all chilled and I'm having vital organs failing from stress because I'm trying to do something quickly :')

I finished work yesterday, sorted out all of this house stuff, arranged a last minute meeting plan for the night out and was feeling stressed so I grabbed a bottle of bud, changed into my tracksuit bottoms, put on shit TV and just chilled. I live for moments like this. Moments where I'm not monitoring the time and calculating how this affects everything else going on in my day. Just having a peaceful time out, to not think or actually do anything.

Then Dannii (who is the twin of my boyfriend and also likes to move at light speed) spammed me to hurry and get to hers. When I get ready for a night out it goes like this:

1. Find music. Strip down to pants in preparation to do an awkward sprint to the bathroom and instead spend a good 20 minutes dancing around my room in my underwear to cheesy pop music.


2. Finally make it to the shower. Spend a while deciding which purple shampoo I want to use. Wash, etc. Contemplate life and then mentally picture me on the Graham Norton show (life goal.) Also, shaving = bane of my life.

3. Get out the shower and then proceed to argue with my Mum about me using the wrong towel/washbin/some other shit she made up because she loves to argue with everyone.

4. Clamber back to my room and then reply to all of the messages, social media/play diner dash. (Usually the latter).

5. Find headphones, because I somehow lose every pair I buy. 

6. Found headphones, find phone which has now gone missing.

7. Found phone, search YouTube for music to get my groove on to.

8. Headphones in, YouTube loaded, hairdryer on. Pretend that I'm Taylor Swift and sing my heart out into my hair brush.

9. Sit for a further ten minutes because naturally drying from a shower feels amazing.

10. I am a blank canvas. Put on fab outfit, attempt to tame hair and spend approximately an hour to two hours painting neon shit on my face. 

11. Hair. It never does what I want it to.

12. I've lost my phone/keys/money/card/spray/shoes.

13. I'm done. It has been like four hours.

And that's the way I like to do it. Jamie and Danielle are like the friggin' flash. They are both physically and spiritually beautiful people that can do all of the above in 10 minutes. 

I'm slow. Jamie even coined a phrase that I have adapted to accepting in my life. "You take so long to do anything." 

Yes. Yes I do. I'm not slow because of a disability and I'm not a slow learner, I just don't like to rush because I panic. It takes me a while to process large loads of information and a few minutes to figure out what my next steps are.

I can be quick. At work I can process apps, send correspondence, drink coffee, work out stats, talk to the guy next to me, talk on the phone and plan my next movements in record timing amongst other work commitments. 

But in life I would describe myself as someone who likes to leave plenty of unstructured time between commitments and to not want to feel guilty about leading my slow life because everyone in my life is faster than me. 

It came to ahead lately because we're all out of sync with each other. Not one thing on this planet is in sync with another, they just coincide. I'm even shit at arguing because I can't think of responses quickly. 

The positive side of crawling down the slow lane whilst your friends and boyfriend are swimming lengths in the fast one is that it balances out. They're the people who make trains run on time, shops open when they're supposed to and will always hit deadlines as well as encouraging us slower folk to keep going.

Just as Ferris Bueller said: 

"Life moves pretty fast. If you don't slow down and look around once in a while, you might miss it"

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