Growing Up Series: Thinking It Through


Thinking back, we found a place quite quickly. It took around 2 months between looking and moving in (give or take) and a lot of heart break and rejection but I'm finally settled into my own flat with my three flat mates.

A lot has happened a long the way, we spent a lot of money, learnt that bread and milk is actually perishable (my parents hid that so well), I learnt to cook (I am learning to cook), we can food shop on a budget and even time our showers perfectly to each other's needs.

Another huge thing happened last night. I've been banging on for months about how Jamie and I are the slowest developing couple ever and only moved in together out of convenience. Last night, I set up my bed (we were originally converting the living room) and got in. I worked on my arts project and watched a few episodes of Bates Motel before turning the lights off and attempting to sleep. After an hour, I got in with Jamie. I hated it. I was sleeping on an uncomfortable sofa bed in my living room. I felt like a 16 year old runaway on my friend's floor. It was inconvenient, people couldn't pass as they pleased, my feet were hanging off the edge and I didn't have everything I needed at hand.

People need bedroom's. I grew up with my brother coming in and out and doing whatever he pleased whilst I wasn't there (I've blogged about that more times than I can remember) and so I thought that I didn't need a bedroom, I just needed space from my parents and brother, but no, I was wrong. And apparently everyone saw this coming but Jamie and I.

We talked in the early hours about a new plan and both discussed that we were fully ready to live as an actual couple. I still believe in taking it slowly, we aren't going to be married and popping out mini Fernandes/Mallaney hybrids any time soon but it's nice. It also dawned on us that sharing this space (which we already were, I just had plans to sleep elsewhere) means that we don't have to book our time in with each other any more. We can come and go as we please and meet in bed to discuss our day and cuddle. We can also have our desired space because we now have a fully functional living room and we now own a double (actually it's slightly bigger than a double) bed. 

Another thing we had to set the bar was that for the past 18 months we've been sharing a less than single bed and not being able to have a decent night's sleep. The great thing about this bed is that we can choose whether to cuddle or be ignorant as it actually can fit quite a few people in there (house party, don't ask) and so we don't get in each other's way.

This feels right. We're happy with the decision we made, I conclusively feel at ease and my parents and majority of my friends are finally settled with the idea that we can be a 'normal couple.' It scares me about leveling up my relationship but moving out is equally as terrifying. To be honest, a lot of things put me into a state of attacking anxiety but I'm slowly getting there.

Now, every time I look at this in the centre of the mantelpiece, I feel happy and content. 


And so our story continues... 

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